the year that was...
December 29, 2006
The year is almost over so it seems logical to write an entry that reviews the past year. The years has literally zoomed by: only seems like 2005 was last week and everything between now and then is nothing but a blur. I'm trying to refrain from reading past entries this year and thus only write about the (important) things that come to mind...not that anything is ever important in my little insignificant world.
Lets begin with Christmas. To be honest I hate this time of year: for me it's all too fake. It starts with shops: they jazz everything up, play those bloody Carols, create that happy place...it's all bullshit! Businesses don't care about Christmas, they don't care what it means, they don't acknowledge what it stands for they only care about dollars but pass it off as being a happy time of year. Christmas decorations come down and they may as well start displaying crap for Easter. For me Christmas means: a public holiday and a half-decent lunch! The only thing I tend to take seriously is the sending of Christmas cards! I don't send out that many but only send them to those I really care about (and those I have addresses for!). For most of the year I'm probably too self-absorbed in my stuff but I try my hardest to remember Christmas and Birthdays. And a special thanks to those who send me cards, text messages and emails...I find it really sweet that I'm even remembered. Anyway, this year Chrissy was relatively quiet. Had some neighbours over for the traditional breakfast - we begin filling our tummies some time around 8am. After breakfast it's time to open pressies (socks, jocks, money, clothes) and continue munching away on the food stuffs that we're consumed at breakfast. Roast Turkey lunch was served around 14:00'ish...then it's off to bed for a nap!!! Was a pretty super day, nothing too stressful and it didn't involve spending the day in the car tripping between family.
Every year a family member or friend is lost. Whilst not a family member as such our first loss was our family friend Diane. Even though she passed away earlier this year I still can't fathom how and why a 40-something can die of cancer...it's a morbid reminder that we're not immortal. Leaving behind kids who, chances are, won't remember much of their mum in twenty years is upsetting. I picture myself in a similar circumstance and wonder how many loose ends I'd leave behind.
Another year of Uni has passed - the end is in sight. The end is blurred knowing three months from now will mean sitting on a train again. I can't spend too much time on this because I seriously begin to feel uncomfortable even thinking about trains. Am definitely choo-choo-aphobic. I know the year will be difficult, and am somewhat dreading it. Every year I feel good about resuming and every year fall back into the same routine of not applying myself to the best of my abilities. I'm too comfortable with only passing. I look forward to finishing but I'm someone who hates change. Change in this case means finishing Uni and resuming "work". It all seems very new and the dreaded 9-5 somewhat scares me. I would like to think the old saying "find a job you like and you'll never work a day in your life" sits true with me.
As for how I feel (as opposed to the things that have happened) about this past year: still have my ups and downs. Mainly ups though! The last couple of months have been a bit shitty - basically feel like I'm put on this earth to entertain others...like nobody gives a toss until something is needed. Guess you could say I feel like a vacuum cleaner: kept in the cupboard until needed, used for a bit then tucked away again for next time. A bit of a walking joke I suppose, that nobody is ever honest with, and a great person to bullshit to. I still think back to this diary entry. Fortunately I know the genuine people around me: hopefully they know who they are, for they are my my rocks and I genuinely love them to bits! It's funny, when you've been treated like shit over the years you really learn to appreciate the smallest acts of kindness...I get so chuffed when people are simply nice to me...now I'm feeling all mushy, want to hug everyone who has been nice to me this year!
So what does 2007 bring? Hopefully 365 days of smiles, although I know that number will be greatly reduced once train travel begins! Each year brings me closer to achieving my three personal goals (which I've never discussed with anybody!), so hopefully 2007 can provide another stepping stone to success. New Years Resolutions? Spend more time at gym. Spend more time studying. Put me first more often. Show greater appreciation to those who are kind to me. Reply to emails faster. Thank my parents more. Take shorter showers. Find the courage to tell people how I really feel towards them (good or bad). Read more. Write more diary entries. Scrounge more hugs. Cook more. Talk to more dogs. Yep, that just about does it!
I wish everyone a Happy and Safe New Year!
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